


Come Hooves or High Water

by Anathema_Cat



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 11:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9489020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anathema_Cat/pseuds/Anathema_Cat
Summary: Kili won't let Fili cancel their first date - even if that means it features fast food and a wildebeest.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [GatheringFiKi](http://gatheringfiki.tumblr.com/) Winter Fandom Raffle Exchange 2017 prompt "I know it’s our first date but I have to go and deliver a wildebeest". Un-beta'd - please let me know if you catch any mistakes.

Kili glanced in the bathroom mirror for about the fifteenth time and grimaced at his reflection. He'd done what he could with his dark unruly hair, he hadn't eaten since he brushed his teeth, and he had been extraordinarily careful while trimming his short beard. So continuing to consult the mirror was pointless at best, vain at worst.

“Compulsive at worst,” he muttered as he left the bathroom again and forced himself down onto his couch. He reached for the remote, changed his mind and grabbed his phone, changed his mind and grabbed the remote, turned the TV on, off, thumbed on his phone, and then jumped as it buzzed with a text message. He shoved the traitor in the pocket of his jeans.

 _He's cancelling. Please say he's not cancelling._ Kili’s already frazzled nerves pushed him back off the couch, though he commanded his body to _not_ pace for fuck’s sake. He ran a hand through his hair, took a deep breath.

“I'll throttle the fucker if he's cancelling.” He dragged the phone out, looked at it from the corner of his eye. “I hate shaving.”

He thumbed it on - again - and confirmed the text was from his best friend. Fili. Cancelling their first date. The fucker. 

“Can't make it tonight, Im sorry. Will make it up to you.”

Kili was proud of himself - he resisted the urge to throw his phone against the wall. The phone hadn't done anything to deserve that. 

“Like hell you are,” he grumbled, flexing his thumbs. It had taken him months to work up the nerve to ask Fili on a date - and weeks more to convince him that it wouldn't ruin their friendship. He wasn't giving up now.

“What happened?” he sent.

“Gina got sick, delivering the beest.”

“Cool I'm coming.” Kili grabbed his jacket and keys as he virtually _felt_ Fili gathering his thoughts.

“Can't talk you out of it, can I?”

“See you in 15.” Kili was already in the elevator to his condo’s parking garage. He put away the phone and shrugged into his jacket, keys jingling. At least he no longer had to worry whether Fili would like the place Kili had picked for dinner. He rolled his eyes at the wasted effort, though - Fili was picky as hell. Couldn't be too fancy, couldn’t be too hipster, couldn't be too plain. 

Kili made it to the city’s zoo in record time, the multitude of traffic lights apparently supporting his decision. He pulled up to the wide wood and metal gate of the Africa unit’s employee entrance and honked his horn. Fili swung it open with barely a glance and headed away toward the animal enclosures. 

Fili checked a lock on his left as Kili negotiated his way around a large, white pickup truck hooked to a beat-up horse trailer. He parked by the tall fence of a mixed antelope yard and jumped out of the car. He headed back, swung the gate closed, and locked it out of habit, then strode after Fili.

“Hey, Goldilocks,” Kili greeted the love of his life - most likely the love of his life - just as Fili locked the smaller gate into the keeper area and holding yards. “Hey! I wanted to say hi to Libby.”

“She’ll be so disappointed to hear she missed out,” Fili smirked. Kili smiled at Fili’s dirty work clothes and messy ponytail and acknowledged for about the millionth time how attracted he was to Fili in any state.

“I bet she misses me.” Kili had long ago decided the bossy horn bobs the oryx directed at him were affectionate.

“Come on, Domo is ready to go,” Fili said, gesturing to the trailer. Kili grabbed Fili’s zoo keys, heart leaping when their fingers touched, as the blond headed around the horse trailer. 

“All right, Mo, we’re headed out. You still good in there?” Fili patted the trailer and then jumped into the truck cab. A snort like an explosive sneeze issued from the trailer. The following bang sounded suspiciously like a hoof strike calculated to express annoyance without injuring its owner.

“All right, Beest, try not to destroy your transport,” Kili muttered as he headed again for the outer gate. 

 

The pungent smell hit him as he closed the truck door. “Aach, you smell like a fucking fishing cat.”

Fili wrinkled his long, adorable nose… adorably. “Yeah, Asia needed help - Kristen was out sick.”

Kili pursed his lips in surprise at the pattern. Damned zoo keepers never called out. “That's weird.”

Fili shrugged. “Something's going around.” 

“Well, you better not be contaminating me, dickhead!”

Fili just laughed as he waited for the automatic gate to let them out of the zoo’s main entrance. “You insisted on coming.”

“I didn't have complete information,” Kili grumbled for show - he would've come anyway. “Why didn't Ivan do this?”

“He had a da-”, Fili’s face went blank, and he stared straight ahead. Kili just watched him politely.

“Okay, I did, too,” Fili finally muttered. “But they just met, and we've known each other for- … I'm making this worse, aren't I?”

“Oh no, please do continue,” Kili said sweetly. He decided not to glower - for some reason, it was never effective with Fili when he did it consciously. 

Fili rubbed his forehead. “I'm sorry, Kee.” A pause. “I had wanted to be the one to drop off Domo, and I jumped at the opportunity.”

Although it was challenging for him, Kili had learned to keep his mouth shut when he wanted Fili to talk. His silence unnerved Fili. It also was hard for him to resist gloating each time he unsettled Fili - he didn’t want to tip him off. 

“It's not that I take you for granted,” Fili finally blurted. “I just- I knew you would understand.”

Kili smiled and patted Fili’s knee. Fili glanced at him, and Kili grinned. “I forgive you.”

 

The scenery turned to foothills with hints of distant mountains as the highway escaped the suburbs and conversation turned to the white-bearded wildebeest traveling in the back. The antelope had not been sedated, Fili explained, detailing the safer, painstaking process of acclimating it to the trailer. 

“Why a private collector?” Kili asked about their destination, two hours from the zoo. He trusted Fili’s judgment, of course, but also knew some decisions were made above the keepers’ pay grade.

“I don’t know if you remember, but we only took him in as a favor to another zoo.” Fili glanced at Kili and continued after his affirmative response. “But since wildebeests aren't endangered, the zoo would prefer to use the space for more damas.” 

Kili nodded again. He knew all that. “And visitors like him, but it would be better for him to be in a herd.”

Fili smiled. “Why did you ask me if you already know the answer, smart ass?”

“You haven’t answered my question. Dumb ass.”

Fili punched Kili in the shoulder before continuing. “Not many U.S. zoos have wildebeests, but this woman has several and was looking for more.” Fili shrugged. “She really likes them.”

“And you’re okay with it?”

Fili nodded. “She has money, and she hires good people. We visited several times, even unannounced - the animals are healthy and have a ton of space.”

Kili’s response was interrupted by loud growling from his stomach. With an apologetic grimace, Fili mentioned a fast food drive-thru near their destination. 

 

They were met by an animal keeper and veterinarian, who assisted in getting the wildebeest into its temporary enclosure with no issues beyond convincing the animal that the large hay pile inside wasn't a rival male. After an exchange of information, the pair left Fili to say his goodbyes.

Kili wasn't waiting any longer for food. He turned and headed back to the cab and dug everything out. Balancing the precarious stack of paper bags and drinks, Kili settled it all on the hood of the truck and looked up to call Fili over. 

He froze as he caught Fili with his forehead on the fence scratching the wildebeest between its eyes. Kili swallowed a snide comment as Fili’s expression sunk in - eyes and mouth turned down, he looked close to tears, something Kili could just barely imagine. Kili's heart melted - along with any lingering doubts that they belonged together.

He considered backing off, but then took another chance. This was a date after all.

Kili gave his zookeeper another moment and then moved next to Fili with enough noise not to startle him but not so much to upset Domo. Grazing Fili’s hip with his own, Kili slid his arm around Fili's waist. Fili sighed but didn't move. “I'm going to miss him,” he murmured. 

“He's an asshole,” Kili whispered back, absorbing the other’s warmth.

With a soft snort Fili countered, “He has spirit.”

“I know, Fee,” Kili relented, “and he has a better home that isn't too far away.”

Fili nodded and straightened, then moved away, taking his warmth with him. Kili was determined that would be temporary. 

 

They leaned against the truck, and for a moment the only sound was crinkling paper as dinner was extracted. Domo mooed, bucked his head, turned and kicked the fence sharply with a hoof, and galloped away into the sunset. The pair laughed and then ate in companionable silence as the sky flared from gold to red. Sometime between its fade from purple to deep blue, Fili reached over and slipped his hand into Kili’s. 

 

They clambered out of the truck much later into a still zoo lit only by dim motion-sensing street lights. Silence reigned but for the chirping of a cheetah. Kili’s concern was immediately calmed by Fili’s lack of reaction.

“The idiot probably lost his brothers again,” Fili snorted.

“But they’re always in the same spot!”

Fili shrugged. “Well, he is the best looking one.” 

Fili's hand brushed Kili’s as they walked the few chilly steps to Kili’s car. “I’m sorry for ruining our date.”

Kili grinned. “You admit it was a date, though.”

Fili reached for the door handle, but Kili intercepted Fili's hand and grabbed the other, clasping both between their bodies. Kili watched Fili’s bright eyes smile before his mouth did. “Yeah,” Fili said. “Thanks for coming.”

“My pleasure,” Kili whispered, focusing on Fili’s lips. Fili inhaled and started to speak, but Kili cut him off. “Even if you do smell like a fucking fishing cat.”

Fili laughed, and Kili moved closer. Fili turned instantly serious, extracting a hand from Kili’s and settling soft fingertips and calloused palm on Kili’s cheek. His heart thumping, Kili swallowed and relished the touch before bringing their lips together. The kiss was soft and warm, a gentle press and glide that lingered just long enough - for now.

“Tomorrow then?” Kili asked as he pulled back, eyes closed.

A whispered “yes” may have been the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard.


End file.
